The Courage to Live your Truth

There comes a moment when something inside us refuses to stay quiet any longer. A moment when the dimming of our inner light becomes unbearable and we realise that change is no longer optional.

This is the reflective story of that moment for me. Of courage, unraveling, deep inner work, and the slow, sacred return to myself.

Two years ago I decided that the life that I was living, the environment and lifestyle was not how I wanted it to be. I had drifted far away from the life I imagined when first embarking on moving countries and starting over. I realised that my light had slowly dimmed, I had low energy, felt depressed, angry, overwhelmed and frustrated.

It took a lot of courage and in December 2023 I finally voiced my truth - I was not happy!

That moment marked the beginning of a massive undertaking of change for my partner and I. The analogy I kept imagining then was that of changing the direction of a huge ship which was heading straight for an iceberg. We had to stop, face the truth and decide to actively create the future we wanted and imagined. It would not be easy and honestly it was not, but looking at this transformative journey, just accomplished, I can honestly say it was totally worth it - every moment of it was just perfect!

Over the following two years, guided by a deep intention to increase my self-awareness — an intention strengthened through my coaching certification — I began to face everything that needed to change in order to create the life I truly desired.

What I discovered was confronting and liberating all at once. I was deeply out of alignment with my highest purpose. My passion had faded. My positivity and light-heartedness were gone. I had given too much of my energy and was not finding ways to fill my own cup.

The constant stress and overwhelm led me into a mild depression. And beneath that depression was anger — anger at myself for having become so lost, so disconnected from who I truly was. In many ways, I was hurting myself simply because I didn’t yet know how to hold myself with compassion.

There is a Buddhist saying:
“In the pursuit of happiness, one runs straight into suffering.”

That sentence describes my experience perfectly.

I moved to another country filled with hopes — hoping to find my tribe, a like-minded community, a place where I could recreate myself and use my gifts in service. Instead, I found myself pouring all my energy into a job with no boundaries, struggling to learn a new language that made connection and integration painfully difficult. I ended up spending a lot of time alone, and having to face all the different parts of myself, which felt scared, lonely, angry and helpless. Rather than finding belonging, I found isolation. Rather than community, I found my shadow.

Now I see that this was exactly the path I needed to take.

Without it, I would not have grown. I would not have matured. I would not have become a more authentic version of myself.

It was through confronting, lovingly accepting and integrating my shadow side, those parts of myself that I didn’t like and wanted to hide, that allowed me to dig deep into my own psyche. This led me to reconnect with my inner child, who, in many ways, was still calling all the emotional shots.

You see, I realised that I was playing the role of the “adult” that I was told to be:
The one who didn’t really know how to deal with her emotions.
Who didn’t know how to express her needs.
Who feared asking for help.
Who didn’t want to say no.
Who wanted to be a “good-girl” and not cause any trouble.
Most importantly she was just behaving how she thought she should in order to belong and be loved.

Realistically though, she just gave away all her energy and ended up burning out.

This was a major turning point on my journey, because when you are exhausted and burnt out all you can do is take time to rest, and in that resting you finally find the time to sort out what is illusion and what is truth.

During this time, I began to reparent myself. I learned to recognise and honour my needs. I started to understand my boundaries — not as walls, but as acts of self-respect.

I worked deeply with my nervous system: first decoding it, then understanding my mental and emotional patterns, and finally learning tools to regulate and support it daily. Slowly, I began to learn what felt balanced for me again.

I remembered something essential: I also needed my own energy.

With this realisation everything changed. I developed grounding practices to anchor me into the present moment. I learned how to reconnect with my intuitive inner light — one I now fully trust. I allow myself to feel supported by others in the seen and unseen worlds, including asking for help. I no longer abandon myself. I stand embodied in my expanded self, ready to consciously create my life again.

This past year has been one of profound self-development and reconciliation.
I journeyed through the dark cave of the soul.
I have passed the initiation by fire.
I have grown up, and I have emerged stronger, wiser, and deeply proud of the woman I have become.

It allowed me to made peace with the past decade of my life - in a way shedding my old skin.

Now, I stand at the edge of the new and the unknown — ready to once more to serve humanity in the best way I can — through love, compassion, and wisdom.

As a first step in honouring this rebirth, I share a intuitively written letter, which I like to believe come from my Higher Self. It is a declaration of my healing, my wholeness, and my commitment to living in alignment with my truth.

May it serve as a reminder: No matter how dim your light may feel, it is never gone. It is only waiting for you to reconnect!

Intuitive written letter - June 2024